I'm afraid of depth

Since I was a child I would fear the ocean. What it stood for. It scared me dumb. My nightmares about tsunamis are always vivid.

I was two-almost-three months premature.

My mother leaked the story to Chengyeng last weekend. And revealed a few facts I didn't know.
What was most important was she didn't know what to do when her water broke. Plus I was a few months early. So she waited a day or two to go to the hospital.

The doctors said it was a miracle that the pruned baby was alive.

Chengyeng said, "This explains a lot." And laughed. It was one of those awful laughs like when she went through my baby pictures. Which were followed with lines like "you looked like a kid that would,".

I guess I should fear intimacy too now.

I will bother her in her sleep now.