Diving In

I don't know how to begin this entry.

I have these symptoms:

-A lump or enlargement in either testicle
-A feeling of heaviness in the scrotum
-A dull ache in the abdomen or groin

Which is 3 out of 7

I had the lump since I can remember but the Doctor said it was nothing abnormal. The dull aches just started. I will have to get this checked out.

I hope it's nothing serious.

Weird Science

Have you ever seen the movie Weird Science? I feel like I'm driving a girl home in the ending scene and leaving without a kiss. That's how I'm feeling. Somewhere between defeated and not giving a fuck and how did I get here?

Sochear has a friend that can get expensive hotel rooms for double digits. So on labor day weekend CY and I will be heading out to Hampton Beach with Sochear & Andre. Which I'm sure will be fun as it always is but at times I just want to retreat. Most likely I will be opting for two different cars. Anyhow I got pissed that she invited more folks. We'll lose the intimacy in the car-ride. And frankly put I need that from her right about now. I'm straying ever so bad.

And she never gets it. I've explain to her some things need to be done just the two of us. Like last week at her grad party. I was exhausted, mildy buzzed, danced-out, and would have preferred to watch a movie. Everyone else wanted to hit the clubs. Which is fine...but her & I weren't feeling it. However, it took her over an hour to say no.

Whatever. I had a lot of fun in NYC. Raph said no after he found out we were going for poetry. I didn't care the drive down was beautiful. CT15 is full of stunning trees on every side! And I was singing along poorly to old songs. My favorite thing was crooning to Ordinary World by Duran Duran and Is She Really Going Out With Him by Joe Jackson. Spazing to TC Civil Service II was dope too!

The Kundi-folks were beautiful as ever. Sonia, Hossanah, and Janine were making fun of me because I thought the oragami cranes were painted in some areas. I didn't get to talk to Joseph much. Patrick was suprisely there & I might see him at the spoken word summit. Afterwards I had about 30 minutes so I went for a stroll with Doreen and Miko. The late night drive back was different...ended going on another route that was just dark.

"M" is my mentee and I'm teaching him how to be charming and challenging. It's tough. My little man keeps doubting my advice. So when he executes it he does it really really late. And it backfires. But when he's quick the ball is back in his court! He was really excited when he first hung up on "J" and she begged him to stay on. And yesterday he had himself a date! Walking him through how to ask her to cancel with her friend/his ex was only challenging because he wouldn't listen. He said something like, "You should hang out with her then." and I'm like NO!!! So we recovered with, "Give me a call afterwards then." To which she goes, "I'll be free before 4..."

The date I'm told went really well in the first half but ended up losing it's spark. We're going to have to work on his conversation skills.

Cy's birthday is coming up Monday. First time I haven't plan anything...We'll see how this goes.

Polaroid Affairs

I'm about to send out the coolest postcard I've found to the last Kundi-buddy on my list...once I find her address. I've already begun my second round so I hope this makes up for it. The picture of it will be up soon with the poem.

Anyhow it made me realize that a Polaroid (Affair) is something brief, esteemed, and lost. Imagine a tourist buying keepsakes to put in a shoebox or hang on a wall. No one really pulls it out or stops to look at it. Unless..they're sappy like d or they want to show folks we're they've been. We just have it to have it for our own egos & our room grows that much less. The hell is up with that? The idea of a "Flashbulb Romance" has been trivialized to a postcard. Wooo.

But this is how we keep/record our time spent be it vacation and currency, or romances and time.
Somethings are better lost, or even left alone, I guess, or, probably never bought. Hahaha. Postcard will be dope.

This post makes me want to read Doty's Atlantis or sing along poorly at a Boys II Men concert. Whichever one comes my way first.

Now I need to fit this whole thing onto the postcard...Haha just messing.

Yours in esteem.